Christmas Parade

So we ventured out to the Parade last weekend, met up with our friends and family. Brad and Jackie had their kids, Jackie's brother - wife - and kids. The parade was good, usual for this town, big trucks and oil feild equipment. Of course the kids got lots of candy. We all went to the mall, window shopped and ate at the food court and let the kids ride the little rides. Very big day for Savannah, she slept like a rock!!! It's wonderful to see her so happy and full of life.

My Extended Family

Went to my friends acreage yesterday. I love being with Brad and Jackie( i call her Jack). Jack and I have laugh together, and of course Brad is my best friend too. I relax in the solarium, have a white Russian or a glass of red wine. Help with supper or putter around the house with Jack. My daughter is the same age as the oldest boy Taylor, and the younger one Matty ... well just tags along anyways. She disappears into the huge house with the other kids, and find me when she is hungry. I met Brad when I first moved here through my ex. I remember when he met Jackie... the only woman who could possibly whip his ass into shape. She was a bartender. We had even better parties then, but of course time ticked on by, Jackie and I started having babies. We went from all night parties, to all night baby feedings, to barely ever seeing each other and talk on the phone all the time about how our kids driving us crazy. It's been 11years now, and they are my extended family. They have been through everything with me, my parties, my careers, my pregnancy, my separation, my quest for my new life ( which is going just fine). They are closer than any brother or sister could be, or maybe that's what it's like to have a brother or sister. The unconditional love that is always for me.

Don't Promise me

What the hell is it with most guys? I mean ... we talk, have a drink, or game of pool. Then I am getting text messages asking me “to spend the rest of my life with him!!!” Get a freaking grip!! It’s not romantic, I find it disturbing. You are just meeting me, why do you find yourself having to promise me something?? If we can’t have a conversation with out you being such an ass as by obviously lying to me, we will never get far enough for anything else. I don’t need some man to make up shit to impress me. I am an intelligent woman. It’s insulting when you try to trick me into liking you. If I’m spending time with you it’s because I already like you. Why ruin it with stupid promises that you don‘t really mean!! You don’t even know me. I don’t need someone to promise me the world. I am very capable of making things happen…. if I want it to!!

My best friends Wedding

Here is Ashley (one of my best friends) on her wedding day.

Here is my buddy Lance, who is lucky enough to be marrying my friend Ashley.

Don't they look sweet lollll. And to make it even better, Ashley's last name is no longer Kolodychuck ( I know it's not spelled right) it is simpley Riley!!!

I love them both!

For my girl

Please give her my strength,
When she feels weak.
Please give her my faith,
When she can’t believe.
Please give her my wisdom,
When she is unsure.
Please give her my patience,
When she’s ready to give up.
Please give her my love,
When she feels alone.

What do I do?????

Somebody tell me please, how do I explain to my 7 yr old daughter why her father chose a life style of drugs and alcohol instead of her? She is so smart, and she is asking more and more questions about him, and what happened between us. She has blocked out majority of what happened with our day to day life with her dad, so she is trying to piece it back together. I've tried sheltering her from what happened but that just didn't feel right. I am honest as I can be with her, but I am running out of answers.... I don't know what else to do..... My baby is growing into a little lady with out a dad. My dad is her male influence, and he is gone working all the time. Like being a single parent isn't hard enough!! He just walked away from her!!! Didn't even put up a fight for her, I told him to stay away if he can't stay sober!! He never even tried.... never tried.... He just disappeared. So she has no Dad. How can I be everything she needs? How do I do this? How? I feel so over whelmed, I just want to scream. I'm sick to my stomach everyday now. I can't sleep, can't eat. She is needing the one thing I can't give her!! She is hurting so much, and I can't take away her pain. All I can do is help her deal with it. A 7 yr old should not have to deal with this!! I wonder some days if I am strong enough to get her through this. I honestly don't know where it comes from sometimes. I am so exhausted, what a time for a magic wand. We are both learning just how many ways his abuse is still hurting us, and he is not even here anymore!!!

Whispers of Serpents

Whispers of Serpents

Over eons I've been honored, worshipped, despised, hated, and murdered. Perhaps even reborn. I am Medusa, betrayed by my sister Athena, so she could claim right to bear my rage onto the field of battle in the new world of the invader, Zeus, and his brothers....but I am far more than the Gorgon beast with the petrifying stare, or lover to Poseidon- come- lately.I am the echo of the memory of Mother as Protector, when I walked with my son Pegasus at my side. Your peoples remember me in your fear of the avenging mother....and perhaps you should fear me-if you have wounded an innocent.

Found this while reading through some literature, I like it...

http://chronos.plutospeaks.info/medusa/medusa.html

No More Fear

There was a time when you ruled,
You ruled my fears.
You survived off my depression,
You drank from my tears .
Although your not in my sight,
Haven’t been for sometime now.
I feel you in the shadows ,
Reaching for me some how.
Trying to finish what was started,
Do you dare take my life?
I’m stronger than you now !
I will protect my life!
You can not silence me,
You have no power here.
Your time is over,
There will be no more fear.

Halloween

I love to decorate the house for Halloween, the kids like it too!!!!

Something else I like

As you can see, I like the mythology of medusa.

I enjoy her ever lasting legacy emensely.

I feel I can relate a great deal to the strugle against betrayal, and scars it leaves. The judgment casted by others, and the endless fight for revenge. The earth shaking effects that come from such a travisty, such hatred, such fear. A dark place where a part of me will always lie, to let the rest of me embrace life with all it's beauty, as it lays there protecting me from him.

Of Roads of Death

Taken from:

Of Roads of Death

Men can be persuasive. This Poseidon, we had much in common, with our ears to the murmurings of the oceans, the tides within the Earth, the rumblings and shakings of stones.

I do not forget any of the essences of being female, no. Believe me, we had our share of quakings and shattering of the walls of earth.

Perhaps I was not a quiet enough woman for that new world? I wuld not stop my dancing, still my voice, or quiet my anger.

Poseidon, ever envious of his brother and his brother’s favor, chose to repudiate her as he best knew how, as a male with a male’s aggressions, and I foolishly fell sway to his charms until he considered himself within my graces enough to try to desecrate my sister Athena’s temple, home of reason, precision, calmness, and clarity, with his seismic lust.

What does it matter today whether or not I consented? The walls cracked. My sister bade me leave her sight, betrayed by the part I had played. Eventually she betrayed me, as well, aiding a boy out to steal my fury to protect his mother.

I do not begrudge Perseus the weapons he cut of my corpse to ward a woman he loved from rape. But I have had time now to come to peace with mortality. I needed to walk the paths of death myself to truly know where it is that I steer your souls.

Where my spirit wandered since? That is another story.

Of Roads of Death

Taken from:

Of roads in Death

I am mother to Pegasus, winged child of the pure water springs, delight of my lives. I am Medusa, protector of the younglings, and of newly awakened women walking into the snares of those rabid men who would use their youth, or beauty, or innocence, against them. They wear my mask to warn would- be predators that I hold them under my wings.