Ya ok.... I'm mad at the world today!!! I'm so mad!!! How can he walk this earth????????? How can he be able to breathe the air that keeps us alive.... walk on the same ground we do.... how can he not be hurting like we do!!!!!!!!!! How can anyone do what he's done and lift his head to society... even has convinced his family that I'm blowing this out of proportion, it does take two you know. HA!!!!! Fuck that!!! How would they know any diff.... they are 8,000 km's away!!! I've lived this nightmare from day one! I'm sorry for ever hiding the abuse but please cut me a break ..... I'm still coming out the bitch in all this. Never mind the police.... the pics of my neck from being strangled.... the statement from Savannah who was 5 at the time.... the neighbours who saved me. Tell me what about this makes me the bitch!! Besides not standing for that abuse anymore!!!
I wish it would all stop!!!!!!!
His family must accept the fact that their son has a severe problem.... it's not me..... he is sick, and dangerous. It's only been 2 months since the police had to track him down for threatening to kidnap savannah and finish killing me! Yet some how that never happened to them..... AND NOW THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE ME TO COURT!!!!!!!!! Because I don't let anyone talk Savannah.... I'm afraid for him to find out what we are up to, and his family will say what we do. Because Mario is of course the baby, and I'm blowing this out of proportion.
I AM SO MAD.... I AM HURTING SO MUCH.... I FEEL SO... SO.....I DON'T KNOW !!!!!! I can't stop crying... I hurt so much... so much....I cried the whole way walking tonight.
I went to my favorite place tonight to relax after walking for hours. It felt good to see my buddy, felt to good to feel safe for a while. God knows this place sure isn't.... but what can I do...court is next week, maybe once the judge actually gets to hear everything... and that it's been 2 years of torture!!! that it doesn't get any better.... maybe he/she will make HIM go away!!! Give me some security, out walking tonight .... the freaks in town were not my worry! It's coming across him that 's my worry... and would be a very dangerous thing. I would like to think that I would be able to kick his ass, but I know the diff.
My friend found out I walked tonight, he was right to say it was too dangerous. I never should have been walking so late at night. If Mario would seen me... god knows......
just til next week!! lets hope it will be over then....
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