Recovery...

Well, today was a hard day... You know, I never relized how much I beleived that he was on the road to recovery. Whether he is on the road to recovery or not.... she can't be a part of it. I have cried so much in the last 24 hrs, I feel like such a fool!! He will not be a part of Savannah's life, not her childhood anyways. The road he is stumbling down is no where near hers. I'm not a heartless bitch!! I've tried to help him in the past, but he needs to want to help himself!! He also needs to find a friend to lean on, NOT me. He has to move on with out me. I moved on years ago. I never heard from him today lol, he's sober so he knows better, or he is still in jail.

So I need to pull myself together !! Just keep being as supportive as I can be for Savannah. She is smart, I think she's already got him figured out. (maybe that's why I wanted to beleive him, I know she is letting him go). It was his last chance in her heart. I've also got to find an outlet for all this anger I'm experiencing at the moment. I have this urge I can't explain (ya I know how weird that sounds). I just want to punch the %*#! out of somthing and scream.... I'm frustrated! Well she has no Dad!!! There's a biological fathers and there are Dads and there are daddy's. For little girls, you want your daddy. I will have to try harder, give her more than I think I can. My little girl has no daddy.... too bad for him.